My grandma used to own a rocking chair of her own.. i wonder where it went to. I think my uncle's wife just gave birth. I think. I had a really nice night. Played badminton. :D i love my brothers so much. Syam joined us too.. nice match although I was a bit blur.. i missed a lot of shots! yeah.. i love sweating.. hee hee.. Adeen kept on telling me to run a lot.. and catch the shuttlecock.. and he told me that i could lose a lot of fat by doing that.. hee hee.. yeah.. i am still fat. not a pound lighter.. omg. now i'm stress!! hee hee... i LOVE CHOCOLATES! and now i'm fat again..
*i dunno how to do this.. my head is spinning.. i've been thinking a lot about this.. but what is it that i should actually doo.. Dear God.. Please Help ME.. i hate feeling this way..*
]]>rite now, i'm having another headache.. it's not like i've not had any worst headaches than before.. but.. i dunno.. maybe i'm worried about something.. scared.. i am scared.
talking about it ease my head about it. oh well, i can never seem to stop thinking about it. i'm lost, i'm continuously wondering what is my purpose of living, i live for God. i live for my parents. i live for my family and those who love and constantly needing me..i wana do something. i'd get on my feet.. but somehow i will fall again.. i'm tired of that. i'm tired of me.. i've always been. will someone just help me get back on the ground?
]]>i wanted to speak
but i held back
suffocated by choices
i'm bound to make
i hope and only hope
let's find something else to hold onto.
have you ever wondered if pigs do fly
imagination running wild
it comes true?
have you ever thought that the rainbow is a mix of two?
life is not easy
i am told
i am aware
options to opt
choices to choose
but which door is the right door?
which path saves a dollar and a life?
which light takes you to havenly,
moreover, time leaves me behind.
]]>nobody will ever understand innocence 'til innocence appear. my bundle of joy wakes me up lightly everyday...
:)
]]>i am a mess. i am a great mess.. i am a mass of great mess!! i am living life unproductively. i am ugly. i am fat. and i am always hungry. i am hating every single person i see. i am deeply affected by things that people say and i think am an arrogant good for nothing idiot with an ego of the size of a massive planet like jupiter in the milky way.
i want to be alone. i need to be alone.. rasa macam mok marah everytime i see or talk to a person. i am ever so paranoid. i feel like i'd always have to be ready before something bad happens.... i have to be onguard24/7.sakit mata.something is bound to happen, but what? i've been the worst person ever to live on earth. i need to change for the better! for good!! i cannot leave myself sik puas hati like this all the time... i'm scared! i'm tired of thinking. i need ...
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED!!!!!!i just wish someone could help me. but when i think about it, no one could understand my situation. if i were to tell **he'd freak out. i just want HELP! ah, don't bother...
]]>I WANT BUMBLEBEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I DON'T CARE! I WANT THE OLD CAMARO CHEVY BUMBLEBEE WAS AT FIRST!
]]>| a long-time memory. a difficult choice. the awaited destiny. HAUNTING. |
|
tiny is remote from doing the right thing every single thing that was done they are all mistakes... that can never be fixed. beautiful colours, sounds, surroundings all beauties seen every night and day it's never going to be at reach length ridiculed the fuzzy thought of what had happened there is no such this as turning back to fix all ruins options vary to strike up to destiny fate is as it is but shouldn't there be any hope to grasp what was dreamt for all these years? hope could only be hope assuming time could run and leave you behind... but no one will realise a little shine that arises inside the eyes of a tiny person with a strong tiny heart that could burst with a pinch of lie of resentment of the untrue and tiny could just wonder where to go from the past it holds through one step from the present facing a wide flicker of light up ahead. |
so .. saya masih terpaksa belajar!
]]>somewhere in the midst of this insecurity, lies my heart. it's lost in there...
i want to do things. i want to do as i like, but something in me forbid me from doing so. i asked for opinions at times and they told me to.. 'just let it go. be free and enjoy life as you should. do not tie yourself to something you are not sure of.' it affected me. things that happenned in the past was a huge slap in my face, as i have never experienced such frustration and pain. when everything got together again, i got confused. but why? 'isn't this all you've ever wanted?' one asked me when i confronted her with my thoughts. yeah, it is.but i got a bit more suspicious over little stuff that i hear and see. i got a little more curious that i'd start asking a lot of awful questions. annoying scenarios play in head over and over again. but when i get the chance to fix it, i tend to forget my main purpose of the rendevous made over the weeks. i detest this feeling. insecurity and hatred is conquering my lost heart right this moment. i've nowhere to turn to but to make sure that i'm remote from every one and things that could distract me from my work!
to the damn!! all i want to do is to get through this as quickly as possible.
and i've had enough of being taken for granted. SO PLEASE understand.
]]>
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' in everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)